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Does Your Child Hate Math?

Hating math often seems like the normal way for most kids, but should it really be that way? The reason most kids hate math is the same as why they hate anything; they aren't good at it! What if we could show almost any child how to conquer math? A lot would change indeed!

​I’d love to hear your comments or answer your questions.

Off to learn,

Fred Ray Lybrand

How to Help a Child Think Up What to Write

what to write

The following was my response to an enquiry about a child who doesn’t know what to write during the writing part of the homeschool day.

Even though we don’t yet know the exact details (always best to find them out because each situation is different), I will throw out some additional thoughts to the excellent stuff several of you have posted.

In The Writing Course we explain how we can always write because everything reminds us of something. When kids don’t write it is almost always an issue of fear or control…not an issue of writing. If a child knows that he is just trying to write OK, and he knows that he can’t really think up what he is going to write before he writes it (this is in the course too), then all that is left is to learn how to make use of his own mind’s ability to associate. I show them how to use their own name.

I’ll use my middle name RAY (yes, I am Fred Ray…hey…born in Alabama) and come up with three words:

R – rollercoaster

A – airplane

Y – yarn

So, all I’ll do is start writing something OK involving those things.

Petula was always scared of rollercoasters. Even when she flew over the County Fair in her uncle Ceadric’s airplane and the rollercoaster looked very small and safe, she just couldn’t remember that feeling when she got near the ticket booth. Today was different. She was going to conquer the rollercoaster! Maybe it was the way the kitten played with the yarn, she couldn’t really say. But, she did notice that the kitten fell off the counter three times. After each fall it just climbed up again to win the prize. “If Tinker can keep trying for a ball of yarn,” Petula said in a squinted whisper, “Then I can ride a silly rollercoaster.” With that she grabbed her uncle’s hand and walked toward the booth holding a paper dollar she had gotten from her Hannah Montana wallet.

Well, you get the point. At the very least (if a child doesn’t know what to write) have him:

1. Do copy work (that will eventually motivate him to make up something more fun)

2. Write a description of something outside the window or of a couple of items in the refrigerator.

3. Use some of the other ideas mentioned in this group

God bless,

Fred Lybrand

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oYX6245bVY0

Consistent as a Parent? Ha!

From my book…The Absolute Quickest Way to Help Your Child Change I have a problem with being consistent, and sometimes it’s just because I am too tired. How can I overcome this problem?

Inconsistency and tiredness are usually a sign that your child or children are somewhat “out of control.” I don’t mean that we as parents don’t get tired, but if the state is constant exhaustion, then something surely is wrong. Consistency usually comes when both parents participate in the child training process. With both parents, you are able to keep one another encouraged and accountable. Usually, the problem of staying consistent comes from a parent who is too consumed with meeting the child’s needs and making sure the child “likes” him or her. One of my professors at Dallas Theological Seminary, Dr. Howard Hendricks, has often said,“When you do something for someone when he can do it for himself, then you make an emotional cripple of him: Chances are, unfortunately, that if you are inconsistent, you are somehow being encouraged to be inconsistent and the real learning you (and they) need isn’t happening.

Remember, if you see it, it is encouraged. The best idea I have for consistency is for you to take the Four Magic Questions and apply them to your inconsistency. You may find a very simple solution such as telling your children that every time they get you to do something for them that they can do themselves, you will give them a dollar bill. I suspect, unless you think so little of money, that you will change your consistency problem rapidly.

So…what are your thoughts on Consistency?

Fred

 

 

My son rarely talks, how can he write?

Re: My son rarely talks: how can he write?

Here’s a note I got on this subject:

Dear Fred, My 10 Y.O. son is very quiet and has trouble saying or explaining his thoughts. He has always been this way. He also dreads writing. How can a person write well if they can barely speak or converse very well? ANd what can a parent do?  On the other hand, my 11 yo daughter can talk your ears off….she has so much to say. She loves to write and will write for hours! Is there a correlation between good speaking skills and good writing?  Thanks for your help

My Response:

Thanks for this question…I’m quite sure you are not alone.  Writing isn’t connected to talking a lot (in fact, most of the studies give the advantage to the introverts…it seems the extraverts don’t won’t to write it down if they’ve gone ahead and told it to someone!), though there are exceptions everywhere.  The problem when people are quiet is ALMOST ALWAYS that they are attempting to figure out how to say the right thing before they speak.  This is really an impossibility since the mind can only plan about 7 words ahead (this is all in one of the lessons in The Writing Course ). Here’s my thought for your son (who does need to get talking more)…he needs to use both hands.   Talking and quiet are both parts of our personality.  Talkers need to learn how to hush, and quiet folks need to learn how to speak up.  This is what I mean by using both hands.  We are all basically either left or right handed…but we can learn to use the non-favored one. Emerson observed that the greater part of courage is having done it before…so, I’d just get him talking.  If you know a book he likes, have him read it aloud to you some everyday.  Have everyone at dinner tell something that was fun (or funny) from the day.  Anything that gets him talking and learning that he doesn’t have to have the perfect words will help.  He likely just needs to realize that the world doesn’t end when he talks.  Of course, he will never be the talker you daughter is (I’m guessing here).  With talking…some is good, more is better (in his case). As to writing…he needs to be doing copy work if he isn’t writing his own stuff (10 is still usually a little young for much writing).  On the other hand, he can write single sentences that are OK (that he makes up).  He must be pointedly discouraged from writing GREAT sentences.  He must first learn to write OK…and get great later on. Is this a help? God bless, Fred Lybrand P.S.  If you don’t make it a practice, please hug your children together at the same time (not separately as much)…this makes a big difference, but I’ll have to explain it some other time. www.advanced-writing-resources.com Grading Help: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oYX6245bVY0

Children Stop Fighting (Video)

 

How to Help Your Children Stop Fighting

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rvU78jOsIik

 

I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Fred Lybrand

This video is an example of how we think about things in our Home and School Success Club.  Sibling rivalry, conflict, and fighting between children is something both parents and kids don’t have to suffer through.  There is a commonsense approach…and here it is!

 

The Danger and Goodness of the Internet for Your Children

Well, what do you think?  Is Rosemond overstating it?

“To me letting a child use the Internet unsupervised is akin to letting a child walk thru the red light district in Amsterdam without a guardian,” explained Rosemond.  “It’s a very, very dangerous thing.” -John Rosemond http://www.live5news.com/story/14685559/parenting-expert-talks-about-facebook

Well yes, it is dangerous.  There are lurking charlatans and obsessive addictions just waiting to happen.  And yet, a wealth of knowledge is also at our fingertips.  We can connect with old friends…or wind up rekindling an old romance into a destructive affair.  We can save money or lose a fortune.

In my years of pastoral counseling, I have seen it all (I really think so…from the psychotic to the sublime); consistently, there are people who have not found the simple fact that if you make no provision for the “flesh.”  They don’t know the power of avoiding a situation…the power of admitting you are not strong enough to resist.  For example, I’m not strong enough to resist chips in the home.  Yes, we have them, but Jody does not keep a constant supply on hand.  If they were here all the time, I’d eat them all the time.  Sorry, it’s just a fact (you know…the salt, the crunch, the dipping!!!).

Well, join the reality of the dangers of the internet.  The fact is that you just need to stay away from the stuff that isn’t good for you.  Get over the silliness of thinking you should be stronger.  You are not.

Now, doesn’t that turn out to be twice as true for the kids?  Yes, they need discernment and wisdom, but that will grow over time.  Our simple solution was to trust the least-tempted-by-the-internet soul in our home; Jody!  In researching it though, we concluded that an internet filter was the way to go.  We decided on SafeEyes and have found nothing but good things (speed is unaffected and the customer support has been exceptional).  Frankly, I don’t care which you use…but I do say, “Use something.”  Basically, with 5 men in the household, our answer became easy.  Jody is the only one who knows the “password.”  Yes, if I get a site blocked that I need, then I ask her to log me in to use it.  What an easy way for me to show some humility (and honesty) about the dangers.  What an easy way for me to not have to think about looking at something tantalizing.  Life is too short and the consequences are too lasting.

If you have gotten into trouble or need help, please check out my friend Jonathan Daugherty’s website @ www.bebroken.com

In the meantime, don’t run; use the internet for good.  Redeem it, but respect it.

 

Peace,

Fred Lybrand

Get Safe Eyes Parental Control Software – One price for three computers!

The Value of Having a Coach (from Homeschool to Homeland Security) -Video

Coaching is quite a buzz-word these days, but the unnoticed fact is that the internet is driver behind this need.  Why do you hire a tutor for your children in sports and music?  If you figure that out, you’ll figure out what you may be missing out on doing better!
Here’s a short Video with a few of my thoughts:

The Value of Having a Coach (Homeschool to Homeland Security)

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pwB31d2DuRI

Blessings,
Fred Lybrand