“What if my kid hates homeschooling?” This question is sadly more common than one would think. Why do some kids hate homeschooling?. It’s similar to hating a food, like spaghetti. Two or three of our children hated spaghetti—I don’t know why. Hating school, hating some activity is actually a hint to us, because what’s really going on with hate is probably a reward structure. Your child is actually being rewarded to grow their hate or frustration.

When you see a consistent behavior in your child, that behavior is somehow rewarded by you, or by something intrinsic in the child that connects to what’s going on. So, if a child complains about school and the response is for them to not have to do it, well, that’s reward. So technically you can be training your own child to hate school. I would ask you to consider what exactly do they hate. Get a pen and paper out and just think, “What is it they hate?”

Do they hate math? Do they hate how much time they have to spend on math? Do they hate that they don’t understand it? Is it making them feel dumb? Do we not have some way to measure and show their improvement? Do they hate reading itself, or do they hate what they’re reading?

It’s common for children to hate writing, which is why we developed a whole course on it. This hatred comes from the psychology of your child, along with their griping and getting away with it. What I mean by the psychology of your child, when they write, is that they’re trying to write something perfect, which you can’t do to begin with. As a result, they hate the experience of trying to write something perfect and it doesn’t turn out perfect.

This problem is going on in their head. It needs to be sorted out and I can tell you, concerning the way we humans learn, one of the most important things is to just establish Okay, Get Help, and Make It Great. So, let’s do an okay job for starters, and then we’re going to give you some help, some feedback on your writing, and then you make it great. This is a part of the challenge.

Your child hating something is not authoritative. They need to learn to tolerate school, not disrupt the family about it; in the course of time they may surprise themselves when they become competent with a subject. When their competence grows, children tend to feel good about school. They may even begin to enjoy school, but at the very least they will tolerate it.

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Dr. Lybrand and his wife (Jody) of 40 years homeschooled their 5 children from birth to college, where they all excelled in academics and community (University of Texas & Abilene Christian). Dr. & Mrs. Lybrand have combined degrees of 2 BA's, 2 Masters, and 1 Doctorate), Fred and Jody have stuck with their faith and their obsession with practical learning. As a result, the overall theme of "Teaching Them to Learn How to Learn" invades everything they offer. Dr. Lybrand pastored for 25 years and currently coaches, consults, and trains leaders in businesses, churches, and non-profits. Among his client list are the U.S. Air Force, CRU, Be Broken, Continental Resources, State Farm Insurance, and Pioneer Natural Resources. Of course, one of his favorite interests is helping homeschoolers excel, and he does so with the 10 Courses of The Independent Homeschooer Curriculum & directly mentoring parents who belong to the tribe. Dr. Fred Ray Lybrand Jr. www.fredraylybrand.com

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