I received an email today from a mom who had moved recently. Her son hasmade new friends, but really didn’t think the new one’s where as good as the old ones he was missing.

Here’s my note back to her.So, the easiest thing to do is for him to get a few things clear in his mind:1. His heart does not have one or two spots for friends (competition and comparison)…it has hundreds and hundreds of spots. Once a friend has a spot, just let them have it forever 🙂 New friends get new spots in your heart!2. Help him process that you are not moving back. He may ‘know’ this, but it probably isn’t articulated and owned. He probably needs to say “We are not moving back” about 70 times. Once he knows that fact deep down, he will start making good use of where he is.3. Answer him with, “So what?” Then when he answers, ask “So what?” again. Honestly, so what if his old friends were better? Why does that matter? 4. Help him understand a better story about friendship. Friendship grows over time. He’s comparing long-term friends to recent friends (not fair). Set a date in the future when he will have known his new friends as long as the old friends…then on that date, sit down and ask him to compare the friendships. Between now and then we can drop the discussion because it isn’t fair.

Hope that helps,Fred Ray Lybrand


Fred Ray Lybrand
Fred Ray Lybrand

Dr. Lybrand and his wife (Jody) of 35 years homeschooled their 5 children from birth to college, where they all excelled in academics and community (University of Texas & Abilene Christian). Dr. & Mrs. Lybrand have combined degrees of 2 BA's, 2 Masters, and 1 Doctorate), Fred and Jody have stuck with their faith and their obsession with practical learning. As a result, the overall theme of "Teaching Them to Learn How to Learn" invades everything they offer. Dr. Lybrand pastored for 25 years and currently coaches, consults, and trains leaders in businesses, churches, and non-profits. Among his client list are the U.S. Air Force, CRU, Be Broken, Continental Resources, State Farm Insurance, and Pioneer Natural Resources. Of course, one of his favorite interests is helping homeschoolers excel, and he does so with the 10 Courses of The Independent Homeschooer Curriculum & directly mentoring parents who belong to the tribe. Dr. Fred Ray Lybrand Jr. www.fredraylybrand.com

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